Bittersweet

Summer and Fall Update:

The bottom falling out of a racing season

Shutting down the Shay Hostel

&

Learning to find joy in the simple things

Summer and Fall have been wonderful and miserable all at once. It’s amazing how often life can exist in these two extremes. I came off my first international trail race feeling motivated and hungry for the rest of the racing season. After years of tragedy, setbacks and false starts I had finally found some traction! Then everything came to a screeching halt when I started feeling extremely sick and weak…for three months. So, I did my best to step back, rest, heal and get out and explore with my boyfriend and pups.

After impatiently resting throughout the summer I decided that it was time to step on the gas pedal and  get ready for some fall races!

After a couple weeks back on the trails I stopped breathing. Literally. I just lost my ability to get enough air while running. That quickly turned into a cluster of weird symptoms that escalated into what seemed to be a lung problem that turned into a heart issue. More specifically cardiomyopathy from a potential virus I picked up. Blah!!!!!! Seriously? This wasn’t something that I was just going to be able to push through or pick myself up by my bootstraps.

Practically speaking, I needed to rest and redirect.  “Training” turned into walking or jogging but mostly sitting and sleeping. So, it seemed like a good opportunity to make some life changes. The first thing on the list was starting my own coaching business. That has been incredibly rewarding and I am looking forward to growing even more in the future.

Next was moving out of the house that I have been hosting athletes in since 2009. People jokingly call it “The Shay Hostel” because from day one my seven bedroom house has been full of visiting athletes and a revolving door of fun mixed with chaos. However, it seemed like a good season of life to make a change so I downsized and moved as close to the mountains as possible. This means even MORE SKIING in the winter, close access to my favorite trails and hopefully some horses very soon!

Currently I am trying to be at peace with whatever I need to do to heal my heart. One thing that I have come to realize in the past several years is that you can choose to let difficulty define you or you can let it refine you. I can look back at every trial that I’ve walked through and see how many beautiful (and needed) things developed in my life during those times of struggle. There is something bittersweet about the ebb and flow of life and I don’t think that the great moments would be as sweet without the hints of bitter that help shape us.

Of course, I am always chomping at the bit to race, compete, push myself and do the things that I feel like my body, mind and heart are made to do…but I refuse to let current frustrations steal the joy away from all the blessings that I have in my life. So for the time being I am stepping back and savoring some of the simple things in life.